Somebody asked, “Who are you?” I responded, “A wanderer”. A wanderer who does not travel from place to place without any specific destination but someone who is traveling in her own world searching for the truth.
The question in itself was profound. He did not ask,”Who is Memoona?” but “Who are you?” Memoona is an identity of an external being however; the question alluded to the inquiry of my inner self; who am I deep inside?
When I was little, I remember asking Amma, “Where does Allah Tala live?” And Amma would look up in the sky pointing, “There.” I would look in amazement because I couldn’t see anything but the big blue sky. This answer never satisfied me. Amma would teach us that Allah is always watching over you. I would ask myself that if this is the case then why did he not save me from all the bad things that happened in my life? When I would ask Papa what is the meaning of real, he would say everything that you are seeing around you is real and I would ask myself if this is the case then why can’t I see Allah? Is He not real? I exhausted myself climbing up the towering mountain; I remembered Amma’s words that He lives in the sky. I vividly remember the view, the world laid at my feet and I felt closer to the heavens than to the earth but the sense of disappointment is still fresh in my mind when I did not find HIM at that height either.
I would always think to myself. If Allah is ٱلْسَّمِيعُ "All-Hearer/ All-Hearing”, why doesn’t He listen to me and answer my questions? I had so many confusions about life, death, happiness, and the misery I would see in the world around me.
My life has always been surrounded with challenging circumstances. But there’s one incident that shook me from inside. This was the time when my daughter was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. It was during that period when I started posing all my frustration of unanswered questions to HIM including, “why me?”
The journey that began at a very young age with the innocent questions reached at the peak of skepticism. I began to question everything. Doubts wrapped in frustration were presented before HIM as a routine. A mother was restless to know who Allah is and what is the purpose of Him making a mother go through the pain. I started reading the Prophet's stories and pondering on how they were tested through difficult times and in the end they were provided ease after the constant dua they made.
I knelt down before HIM in the last part of the night asking for mercy. I began to find peace. And the journey of the pursuit of personal relationship with the divine started. Slowly and gradually the shift from worldly attachment to spiritual growth happened, forsaking material possessions for attaining the higher state of consciousness. He revealed His signs that served as answers to all of my questions. I felt a profound bond with Allah. Uncertainty was replaced by unshakable faith and doubts were replaced by Tawakkal. Although my fervent pleas were unfulfilled, I endured the loss of my daughter with unwavering patience. But on that journey, my life underwent an overpowering transformation.
Entirely unaware, during the course of finding the ultimate truth, our paths crossed like Shams Tabraiz and Rumi; I met Somebody.
Shams and Rumi’s first encounter was unexpected, but fate had other plans, their meeting was a prelude of a deeper spiritual journey. With the passage of every passing day, Shams and Rumi were indulged into intense dialogues about spirituality. Their highly charged and significant conversation was not mere exchange of words but their hearts connected to a great depth in search of the ultimate truth. Shams and Rumi meditate for days without the interference of the outside world. The witnesses write that during the time of meditation, their bodies would present, but the souls would transcends into another world. Rumi warmly embraced this transformational journey with the guidance of true love surpassed by the temporary world.
Their love is a testimony to the power of love that can transform the life of a true believer. Their love will serve as a reminder until the end of times that the deepest connections are formed in the most unanticipated ways and the pursuit of ultimate truth leads to the path of building a divine connection with The Almighty.
Shams Tabraizi writes, “Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually, it is best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”
Shams stresses on the importance of finding the person who serves as your mirror. The right person who becomes your own reflection. That person will help you explore and challenge your values, beliefs and your connection with the divine power. The right person who has the same purpose will ignite your spirit and help you walk on the path to find your true potential and purpose.
Rumi says, “If you want to live your soul, find a friend like Shams and stay near.”
Historians write that Rumi found Shams however; I believe that they found each other since they were destined to be together; the same way WE found each other. I wish I could have the power to keep YOU close in my life as a source of inspiration and support because in the past few days I am entirely cognizant of the fact that enlightenment as a result of solitude is substantial but your spiritual journey has a transformative impact when you are with a spiritually awakened friend. And for me, YOU are that friend.
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