The bright transparent morning revived the glorious memories I have with my children. Waking up next to their tiny beings with half-awake senses is the most unfading memory of their childhood, but radiant mornings are a distant memory now. Life at present represents a constant struggle to live through a war between the heart and mind. Although mind has all the rational reasoning, it never wins through the heart believing in miracles.
The day started with hustle to reach the hospital on time since the doctors had to communicate the results of the latest MRI scans. On our arrival, we learned that the Oncology department had referred Maryams’ case to the neurosurgeons. With a little hope of hearing better recommendations from neurosurgery that could bring my child back to normal life, the wait was fearsome. At last, we heard the unanimous decision from the neurosurgery team that agreed to no alternative treatment since the tumor has voluminously increased. A ray of light at a distant road started to fade out where all I could see was a vague future of my little princess. No words have the power to write and no feelings have the potential to express the emotional agony that a mother goes through in such circumstances.
I was aggravated by the situation as the doctors showed no hope. It led to developing a feeling akin to discontentment. Deep inside, I confronted with Allah about my child’s fate. Doubts took hold of the firm faith. In a state of ambivalence, I grabbed the Holy Quran placed next to the sitting area where Maryam was admitted. I held the Quran and millions of thoughts rushed through my mind. At that instant, my inner voice suggested seeking serenity from The Holy Book since Allah claims that the divine book has the answer to all our questions. I opened the Quran apprehensively, unknowing of how it will address the uncertainty in my heart, the first ayah that I read was, “She said, "My Lord, how will I have a child when no man has touched me?" [The angel] said, "Such is Allah; He creates what He wills. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, 'Be,' and it is. (Surah Ali 'Imran [3:47] - Al-Qur'an). Subhan Allah! Allah undoubtedly responded to my dwindling Iman.
The birth of Hazrat Isa a.s was beyond the possibilities that medical science can ever explain. Hazrat Maryam a.s was unsure of having a child without a man, but when Allah decrees, even the unthinkable happens. Similarly, Allah communicated the message to address the doubts occurring in my heart. Medical science might have limited knowledge to declare my child incurable, but Allah has the capacity to turn everything in my favour. I cried hysterically while holding The Quran and I read that verse many times, believing that Allah is talking to me and reminding me to have faith since He is capable of everything. I learned that Allah never underestimates the power of a sincere call upon Him. When one holds the Holy Book in good faith; He surely replaces doubts with Iman.
No comments:
Post a Comment